he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
