I need help removing her.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
