I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
