wanna go halves on a baby?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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