You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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