i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
