He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Can Purell be used as lube?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
