I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
