Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize