my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My dad is sitting where you rode me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
