Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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