Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
