I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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