Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
home. puking in laundry basket.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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