so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
