i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
