I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
