I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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