gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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