i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
