I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
