so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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