I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
