Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
