Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
