Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
