I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
