He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
