I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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