i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
