Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
