Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize