dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
