yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
porn star boner night. come get it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize