I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
