How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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