Acid is not a monday night drug
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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