Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
