You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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