so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
