And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
