I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
