Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
