she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize