blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
