Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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