it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
