Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
