Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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