I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
