you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
