the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
