Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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