i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
