So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
