I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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